The Illusion of Love: When Chemistry Becomes a Cage

Two Lives a Week: In My Words – A Reflection on Boundaries, Awareness, and Walking Away

Yes, I have feelings for you—but in a world where women increasingly have to be their own detectives, bodyguards, and protectors, the slightest hint of a red flag and I’m out. As part of my constant push for domestic violence awareness, I’ve become hyper-attuned to spotting those warning signs. I wish I could help more women do the same. But I won’t lie—it’s exhausting. It’s lonely. It’s disheartening to always be on guard.

“You let your guard down, and you get heartbroken. And then? Another MSE display of affection.”

That incredible high—the love bombing, the intoxicating chemistry, the warmth of cuddling close, the whispered pillow talk. You feel yourself relax. Contentment settles in. But then, alarms start blaring, and a decision presents itself: walk away now or stay and watch as your boundaries shift and stretch to accommodate someone else. All for that addictive feeling of being wanted, loved, adored.

The Choice: Stay or Run

If you stay: Slowly, you mold yourself into a new shape. The erosion begins, and before you know it, you’re a different version of yourself—one that bends and flexes in ways you never thought you would.

Or—you run. You sever the connection. It stings, and it’s raw. Because you actually liked him. We could have had a life together, you think. You question yourself. You debate. Meanwhile, his puzzled messages flood in. What happened?

The Reality of Traps

When will they learn that a loving cage, net, or bucket is just that—a trap. A construct designed to pull us in, only to leave us tangled in gaslighting, expectations, and the gradual erosion of our boundaries.

Conclusion

I know good men exist—I’ve seen them in action. Just not in my immediate sphere. And it reinforces what I want, what I can tolerate, and the truth that what I have to give is worthy of someone who can love with an open hand. Someone who allows me to rest in trust and connection, without conditions, without quiet coercion.

Because whirlwind romance and dizzying chemistry are wonderful—until the dust settles. And when the dust settles, let’s hope the cage isn’t already locked.

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