Pulling Up the Ladder Behind Me: Helping Women Beyond the Struggle

Pulling Up the Ladder Behind Me: Helping Women Beyond the Struggle

Introduction: The Ladder and the Bridge

I recently came across the phrase "pulling up the ladder behind me" in a conversation about immigrants voting for Trump, and it resonated deeply with me. It made me think about how, as women, we sometimes do this to others who are trying to escape messy or unfair positions. We help only so much, and then we yank the ladder up, screaming, "Do better!"

But who gave us the ladder in the first place? And how many women don’t even know to look for a ladder? Perhaps a better approach is a drawbridge: when we reach a certain place, we lower the bridge so someone else can cross into safety and stability.

Why Do We Pull Up the Ladder?

Pulling up the ladder is often a defense mechanism, born from fear or selfishness. Having struggled to climb out of difficult circumstances, we may feel a need to protect our position, thinking, "If I did it, so should they." This mindset overlooks the fact that not everyone has the same resources, opportunities, or support.

Who Provided the Ladder?

For many of us, the ladder wasn’t something we found on our own. It was given to us—through mentorship, privilege, or systemic advantages. Acknowledging this doesn’t diminish our efforts; instead, it reminds us that success is often a collective endeavor.

The Drawbridge Model

The drawbridge represents a new way of helping others. Instead of pulling up the ladder, we ease down the bridge, making it easier for someone else to transition to a place of stability. This requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to share the resources we’ve gained.

Conclusion: Building a Better System

It’s not enough to climb a ladder to safety and scream for others to do better. By adopting the drawbridge model, we create pathways for others to rise, fostering a world where fewer people are left in the dark. Let’s help others cross to a better future, just as someone once helped us.