Is My Value Based on How They Value Me?
Is My Value Based on How They Value Me?
Two Lives a Week: In My Words – A Reflection on Self-Worth
Is My Value Based on How They Value Me?
For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with understanding my own value. Growing up, I never had the chance to establish a solid sense of self-worth. Others set my value early—and they set it low. Over time, I unknowingly accepted this, and it shaped the way I navigated relationships, particularly in the dating world.
I found myself attracting men who were secretly attached or who saw me as a low-value woman (LVW). For a while, I agreed with that perception and played the role they expected.
Turning Low Value into True Worth
How do we change those feelings of inadequacy? How do we understand that our value isn’t determined by others’ treatment of us but by something much deeper?
It starts with recognizing that our value isn’t tied to the roles others assign us. Your worth is not defined by being someone’s side piece, friends with benefits, or the girlfriend endlessly waiting for a ring.
Understanding True Value
Value starts with how you treat others and yourself. It’s reflected in your standards, your boundaries, and what you’re willing to accept or reject. Recognizing your worth involves asking yourself some important questions:
- Do I feel safe, respected, and loved in my relationships?
- Am I holding onto something that no longer serves me?
- Am I accepting less because I’m afraid of asking for more?
If you’re struggling to understand your value, it’s worth reflecting on where you’ve learned to measure it. Were you raised to believe you had inherent worth? Or were you taught that your value was conditional—dependent on what you could do for others?
The Fundamental Needs of Women
At our core, as women, our value is tied to our fundamental needs: safety, love, respect, and purpose. These aren’t luxuries—they’re essentials.
To truly value ourselves, we must stop comparing our worth to how others treat us. Instead, we need to:
- Set Clear Boundaries: Decide what is and isn’t acceptable in your relationships.
- Invest in Self-Growth: Build your confidence through self-reflection, education, or faith.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Seek out people who affirm your value and encourage you to dream bigger.
Conclusion: Value Comes from Within
Ultimately, our value is something we define for ourselves. It doesn’t come from external validation or temporary roles; it comes from within. If you’re a person of faith, it also comes from knowing how God sees you.
Stop letting others determine your worth. Recognize that you deserve love, respect, and fulfillment—not because of what you do, but because of who you are.
Your value is immeasurable. It’s time to start believing it.
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