It’s Okay to Be "Boring": Embracing Being Ordinary

It’s taken me years to become comfortable with being "ordinary." For a long time, I struggled with the idea of fading into the background, hoping to blend in and not be noticed. If I came across as boring, quiet, or not particularly exciting, I was okay with that. But the truth is, I didn’t always feel this way. For years, I doubted myself when people implied that if I didn’t push boundaries or try something new, I was dull. I worried that if I didn’t go along with the trends or the expectations, I’d be seen as "boring."

For a while, I convinced myself that I needed to be more fun, more adventurous, and open to all sorts of new ideas—especially in the bedroom. I learned countless new tricks, all in an effort to stay interesting and hold someone’s attention. But eventually, it wasn’t enough. And honestly, it didn’t feel right.

"What’s so bad about being 'boring'? What’s wrong with liking safety, consistency, and knowing what works for you?"

Yes, people might accuse you of being too quiet, unadventurous, or unexciting. They might say you don’t speak up or that you lack spontaneity. And sure, someone may come along who seems more daring or "fun." But often, those people are drawn to drama and chaos.

The constant need for excitement and new thrills—whether emotional, financial, or romantic—can lead to disaster. How many relationships have ended because one person wanted something wilder, more exciting? If being "ordinary" is such a bad thing, then why is it often so peaceful and fulfilling?

The fear of being "boring" or losing out to someone more daring can lead us down a dangerous path. We may try to mold ourselves into someone we’re not—someone more willing to go along with things that, deep down, we know we don’t want. We may convince ourselves to participate in something we’d rather avoid, just to keep the peace or make someone else happy.

The Boiling Frog Effect

The slow erosion of our boundaries—the "boiling frog" effect—can happen before we even realize it. Bit by bit, we give up pieces of ourselves, convincing ourselves we agreed to it, so we can’t go back now. But here’s the hard truth: we have to protect our values and our comfort. Yes, standing your ground may risk losing someone you care about. But if someone is so willing to dismiss your boundaries and comfort in the name of "fun" or excitement, is this really someone worth sacrificing yourself for?

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t ever step out of our comfort zones. If a partner encourages you to try something new—like rock climbing when you’d rather chill—it’s about sharing passions and experiences, not about crossing personal boundaries.

Embrace Your Ordinary

So all this to say, let’s celebrate the ones who might seem "ordinary." The mum who plods through the day, completing those everyday tasks with love and care. The financial planner who stays steady, knowing that in a few years they’ll be reaping the rewards of their diligence—perhaps even helping those close to them who weren’t quite as savvy. Or the friend who sticks to their values, finding peace in consistency and reliability.

Be proud and comfortable with being "ordinary." Enjoy the peace and serenity that comes with staying true to yourself and your values. We don’t always learn our worth without some cost, especially when our upbringing may have clouded it. But once we do, we can stake our lives on it. So here’s my urge to you: consider being "the boring one"—and find strength in that. Sometimes, "boring" is the most fulfilling and powerful place to be.