Am I going crazy?? _Trusting Yourself in the Face of Psychological Abuse

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Instinct vs. Evidence: Trusting Yourself in the Face of Psychological Abuse

Introduction

Deciding to leave an abusive relationship often involves a struggle between instinct and the need for concrete evidence. Trusting your instincts can be crucial for your safety, especially when dealing with psychological abuse, gaslighting, and stalking. Understanding these forms of abuse and recognizing the signs can help you make early choices to protect yourself.

Understanding Psychological Abuse

What is Psychological Abuse?

Psychological abuse, also known as emotional or mental abuse, involves manipulative behaviors aimed at controlling, isolating, or frightening someone. Common tactics include verbal assaults, humiliation, intimidation, and isolation.

Signs of Psychological Abuse

  • Constant Criticism: Frequent put-downs or belittling comments.
  • Isolation: Preventing you from seeing friends and family.
  • Control: Dictating your actions, behaviors, or decisions.
  • Intimidation: Threatening behaviors or making you feel scared.
  • Gaslighting: Manipulating you into doubting your own perceptions and reality.

Gaslighting: Recognizing the Signs

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser makes the victim question their reality, memories, or perceptions. It can lead to confusion, anxiety, and a loss of confidence.

Signs of Gaslighting

  • Denial of Events: The abuser denies things they said or did, even when you have proof.
  • Trivializing Feelings: The abuser dismisses your feelings as overreactions or hypersensitivity.
  • Blame Shifting: Making you believe you are responsible for their abusive behavior.
  • Creating Confusion: The abuser provides conflicting information to make you doubt your memory or perception.

Stalking: The Silent Threat

What is Stalking?

Stalking involves repeated, unwanted attention and surveillance that causes fear or concern for one’s safety. It can include following you, sending unwanted messages, or showing up uninvited.

Signs of Stalking

  • Persistent Contact: Repeated calls, texts, emails, or social media messages.
  • Unwanted Gifts: Sending unwanted gifts, letters, or items.
  • Surveillance: Following you, watching your home, or using technology to monitor you.
  • Threats: Direct or indirect threats to you or your loved ones.

Trusting Your Instincts

Why Trust Your Instincts?

Your intuition is your subconscious processing information and alerting you to danger. If something feels wrong, it's important to trust that feeling and take action to protect yourself.

Common Instincts and Doubts

  • Feeling Unsafe: If you constantly feel anxious or unsafe around your partner, trust that instinct.
  • Doubting Reality: If you find yourself questioning your own memories or sanity, consider that you might be experiencing gaslighting.
  • Physical Reactions: Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or panic attacks can be your body's response to psychological abuse.

Gathering Evidence

Documenting Abuse

Keep a journal of incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions. Save any threatening or manipulative messages, emails, or voicemails.

Seeking Support

Seeking Support

Talk to friends, family, or professionals who can help validate your experiences. Professional support can come from therapists, counselors, or domestic violence advocates.

Recognizing and Addressing Doubts

Questioning Your Reality

Psychological abuse can make you question your own reality. Acknowledge that these doubts are part of the manipulation and not a reflection of your actual experiences.

  • Validate your feelings and trust your perceptions.
  • Seek external validation from trusted sources.

Feeling Overwhelmed

The abuser may try to overwhelm you with lies, contradictions, or trivialize your concerns.

  • Maintain a support network.

    • Conclusion

    Trusting your instincts in the face of psychological abuse is essential for your safety and mental health. While gathering evidence can help validate your experiences, your feelings and perceptions are valid. By understanding the dynamics of psychological abuse and seeking support, you can take the necessary steps to protect yourself and regain control of your life.

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